My nervous bladder

I played softball growing up and through college. I was a pitcher and I was actually good at it. By my last year of college ball I held all of the softball pitching records. I pitched a majority of the games. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best I could be and to perform well. I would get nervous before games. One of the things that helped calm my nerves were rituals and routines. I had a morning routine, warm up routine, and certain things I had to do before every game. One of the things was wearing a pink ribbon in my hair. I know, cute right? I also had to go to the restroom, to pee, right before the start of the game. Like, right before. If I went too early I would have to go again before the game. I had to go within minutes of the game starting almost making me late to every game I ever played. Weird right? I’m sure I drove my coaches and teammates nuts! Often times the restroom wasn’t close to the field. I’d run to the bathroom and back within minutes to seconds of having to go out on the field. Why you ask? Because I had, what my mom named and I continued to call, a nervous bladder. I don’t know when this started but I always remember this being something growing up and I didn’t grow out of it. At my last softball game I was 22. There were other times that my bladder called the shots and controlled me but I’ll save those stories for future posts.

What I want to point out here is that I just accepted this “always needing to pee” as a normal part of my life. I even mentioned it to doctors when I had yearly physicals but they were never concerned so my parents weren’t concerned and I wasn’t concerned. It was just my normal. I remember my grandma saying something about needing “to go” frequently and how it’s the same for all her friends. Sometimes on TV or in movies the characters laugh about someone needing to go to the restroom “again!” I just managed it and accepted it. However it is amazing that my coaches put up with me running to the field moments before the game and that I was still able to perform well huffing and puffing.

Years later I learned about bladder control training. I learned what is normal and not normal. I learned that waking up at night 3-4 times per night and going to the restroom more than 1 X every 2 hours is not normal. I also learned that there are tips and tricks to train a bladder. I used what I learned to train my bladder and regain control of my life. I don’t play softball anymore but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I knew then what I know now.